July had end...

can't imagine that i had finish my monthly test again. and i met my crush? not crush actually. just my ideal  type. but i know it clearly, we're impossible. 0 probability that we'll have any special relationship status. but just let me always see him. but he's not going to stay at the school anymore until this year. he have to go university. you know? i had such stupid thinking. i want to study foundation and look for him and study with him in a same university. i think he'll see me on that time. you know what? he makes me feel crazy. but i know, after he gone, everything will be fine. i know, it'll be fine. August had came. August, why you come so early? i not yet done all my stuffs and this years is almost going to end. these 8 months passed silently. but i know, i can't regret. haha. so, lots of target i have in my others life. for example, taller, slimmer, backbone is straighter, will have a boyfriend, can et good result in SPM, can earn money, good in drumming, have lots of money, etc..... what a big big dreamsssss. but i know. i'll success. i strongly believe it. anyway, in this 2 weeks holiday, i want to play until crazy, i  want to finish my korean but i think i couldn't. as more as i could finish, i'll try my best! so yeah, holidays had came. it's time for me to work out gym, badminton, jogging, swimming, etc.... seems there's one who can accompany me do all these things. please, let me beg you. appear in front of me! ......

Kpop Idols Beauty Ranking

• Yoona, Suzy, Sulli

• Dara, IU, Hara, Taeyeon, Jiyeon, Seungyeon, Soyeon

• Jiyoung, Hyuna, Krystal, Sohee, Jieun, Eunjung, Seohyun, Hyomin, Jessica, Sunye

• Yuri, Hyosung, Boram, Tiffany, Jiyoon, Victoria, Sunhwa, Woori, Nicole, Gayoon, Yubin, Eul

• Jaekyung, Jihyun, Hyunyoung, Dasom, Seungah, Sohyun, Luna, Gyuri, Qri, Min, Hwayoung, Soyu, Yenny, Sunny, Bora, Amber, Jia, Jisook

• Lim, Hyoyeon, Bom, Hyorin, Fei, Yoonhye, Minzy, Seoyoung, Zinger, CL

Cheerleading!

i just involved in cheerleading last week. i'm the captain and finally we got champion. i was so happy as i had put a lot of effort on it. i feel good because our hard work did not pay off. i promised them to treat them if we got champion. so we're going to pizza hut this sunday. 3 seniors including me will going to treat the other 19 pupils. they are so happy! teacher ask me to the the leader again next year. i asked teacher the reason we won. she said our formation was perfect! amazing! i was just like WOAH! i cut the music, i join the music, i think the dance steps, i create the formation. i'm the only one who staying back to train them. as other groups have teacher guiding them. but unfortunately mine don't. but anyway, every teacher praises me very well especially the teacher came from my group. i think they will be proud of me! hahaha! our team, the yellow team get the CHAMPION overall the sports day. we get the last last year and we couldn't imagine that we got champion this year! we shout like hell! we happy like hell! ya... thanks to them. thanks to everyone who had teach me and help me doing this cheers. thanks everyone!

Oh My GOD!!!

OMG! i cant't believe it is June now! the 3rd week of june is going to end. i just had my mid year result! quite sucks among the chinese. but better than others! at least i did not fail on 10 subjects. make a target, is it better? just like 5A? i have no an A in this result. okay la. i'll try harder next time! i didn't post any new post just because i don't have time... haha! during the 2 weeks holiday, i only have almost 5 days in home. i went to singapore for a week, then i went to kl! then when i'm in home, friends asked me to hang out. i have less time to blog it. my school is going to have sports day. i had joined cheer leading for past 2 years. i'm going to join the 3rd year. but it;s different because i'm the leader since the leader quit! so stress. i have to do a lot of thing my own. i have to find people to join. they're hard to join and doesn't want to cooperate with others. then i need to find the music. i have to cut here, join there, cut there, join here! i'm going to be crazy since i was the first time doing this. then i have to choreography. those dance steps. ohh no! the song is almost 5 minutes. and the sports day is next saturday! 7 days more left. and they not yet practice even a step. seriously, i hope my team could get at least 1, 2 and 3! i really that. okay, not only cheer leading. some more i got singing performance in school. the people find me so suddenly then i have to prepare the music. some more 1 of my girl senior ask me to duet with her. i have to find the music again!  these work are so complicated. i have to calm down myself first..... phew~ then work again! 

K-Pop Idol Rapper Ranking Chart

• Block B's Zico

• Big Bang's G-Dragon

• B.A.P's Yongguk

• Block B's Park Kyung

• Big Bang's T.O.P

• B2ST's Jun Hyung

• Brown Eyed Girls' Miryo

• 2NE1's CL

• 4Minute's HyunA

• Block B's P.O

• B1A4's Baro

• Secret's Zinger

• INFINITE'sDongwoo

• JJ Project's JB

• TVXQ's Yunho

• SISTAR's Bora

• B.A.P's Zelo

• 2NE1's Minzy

• Wonder Girls' Yubin 

• MBLAQ's Mir

• F(x)'s Amber

• Super Junior's Eun Hyuk 

• Super Junior's  Shin Dong

• SHINee's Minho

• Miss A's Jia

• T-ARA, Hwayoung

• Rainbow's Woori

• Wonder Girls' Lim

• Kara's Nicole

• Girl's Day Jihae

• 2PM's Tacyeon

• 2PM's Chansung 

Who is the most top celebrities in South Korea?

1. SNSD (Singer)
2. Park Ji Sung (Footballer)
3. Kim Yu Na (Athlete)
4. Lee Seung Gi (Actor)
5. 2PM (Singer)
6. Yu Jae Suk (MC)
7. Lee Chungyong (Footballer)
8. 2AM (Singer)
9. Chu Shinsoo (Baseball Players)
10. Kang Hodong (MC)
11. Lee Hyori (Singer)
12.  Yoon Shi Yoon (Actor)
13.  Rain (Singer)
14. Park Chuyoung (Footballer)
15. Shin Min Ah (Actress)
16. Super Junior (Singer)
17. Wonbin (Actor) 
18. Hwang Jung Eum (Actress)
19. Kim Hyesu (Actress)
20. Go Hyun Jung (Actress)
21. Kang Dong Won (Actor)
22. Lee Daeho (Baseball Player)
23. Park Tae Hwan (Swimmer)
24. Lee Nayoung (Actress)
25. Jang Dong Gun (Actor)
26. Shin Se Kyung (Actress)
27. Lee Kyungkyu (MC)
28. Big Bang (Singer)
29. Lee Minjung (Actress)
30. Choi Kyungjoo (Golf Player)
31. 2NE1 (Singer)
32. Hyun Bin (Actor)
33. Bae Yong Joon (Actor)
34. Geun Young (Actress)
35. Lee Minho (Actor)
36. Han Hyo Joo (Actress)
37. Kim Tae Hee (Actress)
38. Park Chanho (Baseball Players)
39. Park Myungsoo (MC)
40. BEAST (Singer)

It's May!

so fast!!!! today is the 5th day of May. and it's clear too see. i not yet finish study for my mid year exam. no motivation at all! *sigh* but never mind, i'll try my best! actually i also hope that i can get flying colour in my result. Malay, English, Chinese, Mathematics, Addmaths, Physics, Biology, Chemistry, History, Moral. i'm going to die because of these 10 subjects! oh! i just had my 2 papers last friday. they are History Paper 3 and Sivik. still got how many papers only i can had my holidaysss huh? 22 PAPERS MORE!!!! finish 22 PAPERS in 2 week! oh damn it! tomorrow is monday already! not yet finish studying! i'm going to die. okay. my plan is like that. after finish studying History, study Malay and English. then later Mathematics and Addmaths. after that, i'm going to study Moral and Biology. then, Chinese, Physics and Chemistry! okay! this is my plan! the most important is to finish study my History first. i had stucked in Histiry for 2 weeks already! such a pity thing! somehow. my class had changed next to his class! oh no! although i hope so, but i thought it will not happen! i feel awkward whenever i pass by his class. but just for few weeks. i guess after having my exam then holidays i will go back to my original class again. due to one of the pupil's leg had injured so can't go up to 3rd floor. that's why one of the class at ground floor need to exchange the class. somehow, i wish that teacher will say our class will be at there until the end of the year! hahahahahaha! but i guess it will not happen! anyway! GOODLUCK to all of US who having our MID YEAR EXAMINATION! FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cry?

my friends asked me whether i cried or not? of course i said NO. they said seriously? never cried after broke up with him? ya. i said NO. haha. i said no point to cry... i lied. ya. i lied. i CRIED. i CRIED so silently. i cried every night. can you feel my sadness and hurtness made by him? no one could. i bet them any girl who is strong as me or even stronger than me would tell her best buddy about this sad thing, they usually have a person who can talk. i DIDN'T. i keep in my heart deeply, maybe he's the deepest. whenever anyone talk about him, no matter how deep i put him in, my heart is still hurt. no one can really fix my heart. my heart had broke 1/4. maybe my soul mate will appear soon. i'm waiting for him. i will ask him to fix back my heart..... to my soul mate, appear in front of me when the timing is good. again. 3 weeks more. exam? damn it! okay la. i'll study. i SWEAR. I WILL. this saturday and next saturday will have singing performance. i think i should take reference book while it turn of me. hahaha! physics, biology, chemistry, sejarah, addmaths, modern maths, moral, malay, english and chinese! 10 subjects that killed me! luckily i didn't choose account! i'll die immediately! should i pay the money to study at outside or at home? i always can't control myself to study at home as i have internet, netbook. haiz. so sad. oh yeah! my netbook's screen had spoil. so i connect my desktop's monitor to my netbook, so, i'm using netbook's keyboard with desktop's monitor. i'm going to buy a new external hard disk! since mine had already spoil since last year? maybe. i'm going to buy a new smart phone. i never buy a new phone since all my phone is gave by my sisters i'm going to buy a new laptop rather than repair the screen. lol....... i'm going to.............

The Birthday Party

my ex- birthday had just passed. i feel so guilty. cause when we're in a relationship, i never give him any surprise. i just gift him maybe couple necklace and maybe a birthday car. unlike his girlfriend now. she celebrates his birthday with all her gangs. she plan all the things that i look as useless thing. but maybe both of them love to celebrates in romantic way. i think she gave him a kiss maybe a hug. just thought about me, never kiss him before, never hug him before. and he just hold my hand in the cinema ONCE. just because both of us are cold. haha. so funny! but they had kiss the 2nd or 3rd month they had already together. so open-minded huh? i dislike. luckily i still have my first kiss, first hug, can i count first holding hand also? cause we didn't old hands in public. cause i dislike. all my first are still with me except y first love. but it's okay. i never regret to consider my first love is puppy love. rather than my 2nd boyfriend be the first. hmmmmm.... alright. oh yeah! my ex- show off about he and she had a French Kiss for maybe 10 minutes? dafuq? don't you feel tired? you're just a secondary student. both of you will regret for being such horny if you all broke up. but luckily i didn't choose him. phew! so, i'm waiting for my 3rd one. perhaps we can last longer? all my friend could wish us truly with their heart. 3 more weeks, the mid-year exam is coming. not yet study all he subjects. will be killed by all the long syllabus i had been long time didn't stay in classroom. so i'm not very clear about all the syllabus. but seriously hope that i won't get fail. SERIOUSLY. i wish i could pass all my subjects..... okay. next. the one that i love seems like love to flirt with his girl friends. i'm so sad. maybe i'm the only one who feel like this. but seriously, i'm hurt. he didn't come to school last week. so i thought i had forget about him. until this week, nothing changed! but i had a feel. that is i feel like he started to look at me again. am i just thought it wrongly.... or that's true?? seriously i don't know. i knew that we're IMPOSSIBLE. but please lend me some time. i had use 10 months to forget my ex-. almost half year i had starring at you. maybe i just need to use another 10 months or more than 10 months to forget him. pity myself. i knew. i shouldn't waste my time on the wrong person. but there should appear a right person to me so that i won't pay all my attention on the wrong person. so.... to my mr.right, are you ready to stand in front of me? 

April Already....

oh my god. so fast.... today is the second week of April already. feel like so unbelievable. my form 4 life has started 4 months already. but i still can't catch up the academics. i have to work harder. cause my mid year exam coming soon. unfortunately, choir have performance during may. maybe will disturb my time to study. but i strongly believe that, i could did my best in exam later. something i feel happy cause i had download korean typing. ten i could type in korean. haha. but the difficulty i met is i couldn't memorize every position of alphabet on my keyboard. my keyboard doesn't show me that. so sometime i just need to try every button to get the correct one. take a quite long to type. you see! i typed this! 안녕 하새오 ! 내가 황쟈이임니다! hello! i'm XXX!!!something sad happen! he changes to cadet police from taekwando ITF. and i just think. is it because of me? i so wish that he won't change. that's the only chance i could get closer to him. but he just disappoint me... maybe i should really totally forget about him. why am i so stupid? i already know that he already fed up on me? why i still want act like this huh? suffer..... can we? can we start over all again huh? can we just text like last time? can you call me? can we have eye contact once again? can you just tell me that you love me? can you tell your friends that you love me? then your friends will just call my name when they saw me? can we hang out like last time? can we watch movie? can you treat me ice-cream? can you say  me that i'm beautiful, i'm hot, i'm cute, i'm smart? can you compose 1 more song for me? can you sing and play guitar in front of me? can you look at me? can you just ask my friend do not scold at me or play on me or bully me? can you fight with other boys when you know that they like me? can you ask me whether the another like me or not? can you ask me to say i love you to you? can you know that i still can't forget you? can you know that i miss you? can you know that i'm falling in love with you? can you know that i'm regret with the decision i did? can you know that i always act like i don't care about you? can you know that i'm so suffer when you suddenly do not appear in my life anymore? can you notice that i still care about you? lots of 'can you....?' right? haha. so funny. it's too late, and i know it. the time can't return. and you will always be deeply in my heart until someday maybe i drunk? and i'll say it out all. i know. I LEAVE YOU WITHOUT ANY REASON, SO THAT I WON'T COME BACK WITH AN EXCUSE. the last can we that i want to say is CAN WE JUST MEET LIKE FIRST DAY WE MET AGAIN? and then, maybe i'll try to avoid this thing happen.  then i won't be suffer. the 2nd boy i'm suffering with...
 

A Book...

i read a book these few days... i not yet finish reading but i had already learnt many things from that book. and i just read for only 1/5 of that book. i like the author. this is the 2nd book that i have that written by him! seriously, the quote is nice! i love it very much. one of it is, IF YOU LIKE A PERSON, BUT YOU'RE SAD BECAUSE OF HIM, JUST STOP LIKING HIM, PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE TO LOVE FROM LIKE, YOU'LL REGRET. the Jungshin, unfortunately, he gave me sadness because he didn't even notice about me. i'll just try to forget him. i wish i'm not going to turn to love. i feel so true when i read this quote. it lets me thought about that indian guy. actually i just like him before that.... after a long time, likeness had already changed. it changed. it changed quietly without my permission. without i knowing. that's why i'm suffer. it had changed to love. so suffer. so sad... i feel so regret... ya... I JUST TURN MY HEAD BACK NOW, BUT I JUST REALIZE THAT IT WAS TOO LATE. EVERYTHING WAS HAPPENED IN A SECOND. TIME IS NEVER WAIT FOR YOU. never mind, i'll just let it go. let everything go. let nothing be my side until one day, he comes to me. to my 'he', you'll come for me, right? okay. i'll just wait for you and see. and, I ACCIDENTALLY COUGH BY THE DUST. BUT LUCKILY, I DIDN'T COUGH BY MY MEMORIES, IF NOT, I'LL JUST DIE IN THE PAST. please never! never let the past to influence you doing anything or making any decisions! do it or make it follow your truly heart! you'll never regret! trust me! it's time now. TO MY PAST, I'LL JUST FORGET ABOUT YOU AND DISAPPEAR FROM THERE. TO MY FUTURE, I'M NOW READY.

What Should I Do??

how???? eotteoke?? what should i do now? i'm so blank? on facebook, don't know want to stalk who. on twitter, don't know what to tweet. hate this type of life. lifeless! my heart always say must do finish all the homework. only my heart says to me. no motivation. no action. muscles doesn't want to do. how? hate! but i'll just keep trying being a hardworking people! i want to get good result! i want to be a perfect girl. the most problem that i met is. i gained my weight! i'm going to do a lot a lot a lot a lot of exercise! i'll eat less carbohydrate. and eat more proteins. you know why? body burns carbohydrates then oils and proteins to require more energy. if i eat lots of carbohydrates, it has less chance to burn my fats and oils! i have a plan! do exercise every sunday! i'm going to jog with my parents early in the morning. then, i'll go for badminton, then gym then swimming. i'm sure that i'll loss my weight. then, i'll do sit up whenever i'm free. i must do on the bed.. if i do on the floor, my backbone will very pain. i tried! seriously can't do it. next i want to say is, my school's Jungshin seems like didn't notice about me..... so sad.....

Forget...

i'm so scared now. i scared because i was feel like myself changed a lot. i had forgot how to smile happily. i miss when i was young. no need to think and solve those fucking crazy problems! i forgot how to cry. 2 years ago, i cried easily. i can drop my tears without 20 seconds! but now. you give me 20 minutes also cannot...... so sad! i forgot how to shout. maybe i want to prove to everyone that i'm a strong girl. so that, never shout in front of anyone. that's why everyone thought that i'm so strong. i never cried in front of people for 3 years. the last time was when i fall down at school. and it was really pain. but after that, no one saw me cry again. how? argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! any solution to solve this problem? just like physics or mathematics. i'm sure there's a formula! there's a solution! help me to find out the solution please! i'm so suffer!!!!!

Maybe?

ya. i used 1 10 months to forget my ex-. and i used 6 months to forget him. now, i have a new target here. he looks like CN Blue's Jungshin. all my friends say so. did i feel it wrongly? did he also starring at me sometimes? haha! maybe i just think too much. if it's real, i hope that we can last long. i think i know that he's quite a good boy. he's so quiet. he loves his family very much as his facebook photos are most of is family! he's tall! he's smart! he's handsome! he's fit! did i told that Jungshin is my one of the ideal type. i never expect that such a perfect person will appear in front of me. in school, sometimes we just met with so sudden.  i think he never expect it too. don't know? i just feel that maybe he have some feeling to me. but never told his friends unlike me, all y friends knew about that. whenever he walk across me, my friends will just shout out my name loudly! so embarrassing! i pray hard to God, hope that he could like me, he could love. because of him, i only can use 6 month to forget the indian guy. if not, i need another person to let me forget about him. at first when i saw him, i just feel that he extremely looks like Jungshin. and after that, i don't know what's happening. suddenly, go for recess just because of him. always starring at him so that he could look at me. but sometimes he really did. MAYBE. maybe i fall in love with him already. but i never want to speak to him or want to act something in front of him, not because i don't want. it's because that i know what's the ending. i know that there's no ending there! that's why. i just look at him so silently..... silently.... 

Let Go...

i am so sad. i am so moody. as a human, i think i should learn something. i should let go something or someone. if not, i was just like now, such an useless female. what should i do now? i cried. i cried because of you. i went to watch movie with my friends. the day before i go, i prayed hardly to God so that i could see you on that day. the God heard what i say. i saw you after the movie had end. i was really damn happy. i can't let my friends know that i love you. to see you more clearly, i ask my friends to walk faster. you saw me. but i act like didn't saw you. i walk so fast behind you. until you're going down, my friend ask me to wait for other friends. before that i saw a new her walking with you. at first, i thought you watch it yourself. unfortunately, you have a new her accompany you. i was so moody after that. maybe the God just want us to look at each other, but not meet. then, you're then far away from me already. until the 2nd floor, i just want to chase after you. but you're just like disappear. seriously, i couldn't find you. and i was just like so suffer when i saw you and her. and then when i go back home, i just keep telling myself that, i just too miss you, that's why i couldn't find him afterwards. he was just my imagination. until today, my friend asked me see whether i saw him and maybe his girlfriend sit at couple seat? my heart broke. actually i don;t expect that they saw him. how i know that, she would asked me such question? and of course she don't now the relationship between me and him. and, i learnt a lesson. NEVER LET HIM GO WHEN HE IS HOLDING YOU THIS IS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LET HIM GO AFTER HE HAD LET GO OF YOU. i need  friend who can really understand my situation now. i'm so suffer. i'm so hurt. i'm so sad. i'm just crying.... lend me some time please. i'm not such a forgetful person. that's why i used 1 year to forget my ex-. i watched a drama. the lady is regret because she doesn't want to admit that she loves him after the guy let go of her. i was just like the lady. the guy likes him so much until one day, the guy left her. but luckily, they're together in the end. of course i know this is just a drama. and i would never have such ending like them. that is why.... it is the time for me to say goodbye to him. GOODBYE, KJAAN....

March now...

so fast. today is the first day of March. i have a good news and also a bad news! the good news is, only 6 pupils pass their addmaths test! and ya! i'm one of them. my chinese paper get the 2nd highest mark. i'm really proud of myself. i get all this marks by myself. but, i'm going to leave. i'm going to leave my house maybe this year. suddenly feel so sad. especially i'm listening to kpop sad song and hearing the conversations between my dad and those strangers. i just feel that they'll buy my house. i'm going to live at a house there is 15-20 minutes far from my school. i forced my parents to teach my how to drive a car. it's more easier for me to go here and go there. i'll be 17 next year. so good la. i can straight away pass my driving lesson! i'm so emo now. i just feel sad to leave my house that i had live for 16 years......... but i think, i need to learn 1 thing very important! i must learn how to let go. same like my relationship, i can't let go so easily.... that's why i'm so suffer from that. unlike him, so relax! i really want to punch him when i saw him! these few days, i'm just crazy for TOU FU FA!! so nice! so smooth. so hot! taste really nice! 

Girl Groups ranking by Height

Shortest

Brown Eyed Girls

SECRET

2NE1

KARA

Short

Gixrl's Generation

Wonder Girls

Piggy Dolls

4minute

Jewelry

T-ara

miss A

Average

Davichi

5 Dolls

A-Pink

Girls' Day

SISTAR

Tall

f(x)

Chocolat

SPICA

CSJH

Giant

After School

Rania

Dal Shabet

Nine Muses

Boy Groups ranking by Height

Extremely Short

TEEN TOP 

B2ST 

D-NA 

FT Island

Dalmatian

N-Train 

Short

Big Bang 

Boyfriend 

Block B 

INFINITE 

Average

Twilight 

Super Junior 

ZE:A 

MBLAQ

My Name

SHINee

B.A.P

Tall

Chaos 

Touch

BoM

M.I.B

B1A4

Hit

U-KISS 

AA (Double A)

2PM 

Giant

2AM 

TVXQ

SS501 

Speed (Co-Ed School) 

CNBLUE 

Supernova

F.Cuz 

X5

Boy Groups ranking by Weight.

Why am I Living?
Teen Top

My Name

SHINee

INFINITE

ZE: A

Twilight

FT Island
No Need For Words

LED Apple

Block B

BIG BANG

N-Train

DALMATION

Beast

Not Average
B1A4

CHAOS

TOUCH

CNBLUE

DBSK

MBLAQ

This is Average
AA

Super Junior

U-KISS

B.o.M

B.A.P

SPEED

ss501

Height and Weight are Propotional
F.CUZ

X-5

Supernova

M.I.B

2AM

2PM

Suzy - I Still Love You (BIG Ost)

Lyrics (Hangul + Romanization + English Translation)

벌써 눈물이 아닌 줄 알면서Beolsseo nunmuri anin jul almyeonseoI know I shouldn’t cry already 
왜 자꾸 눈물이?wae jakku nunmuribut why do I keep crying?
널 향한 마음이 제멋 대로Neol hyanghan maeumi jemeotdaero My heart toward you acts however it wants
나를 나를 너에게 보내는걸nareul nareul neoege bonaeneungeolSo it keeps sending me to you
너무 아프다 나만 이런 감정을Neomu apeuda naman ireon gamjeongeul It hurts so much that I’m the only one 
같고 있는게gatgo inneun gewho feels like this
니가 나를 바라보지 않는게Niga nareul baraboji annneun geThat you aren’t looking at me
이런 내가 널 불변 하겠지만Ireon naega neon bulpyeonhagetjimanThough you are probably uncomfortable with me

그래도 사랑해 너를 사랑해Geuraedo saranghae neoreul saranghaeI still love you, I love you
다른 건 몰라도 내가 널 원해Dareun geon mollado naega neol wonhaeThough I don’t know anything else, I know I want you
다가가려 할수록 가까워만 질수록Dagagaryeo halsurok gakkawoman jilsurokThe more I try to approach you, the more I try to get close
도망치는 니가 날 외롭게 하는걸 ~domangchineun niga nal oeropge haneungeol ~ ohYou try to run away and that makes me lonely

눈물이 멈추지 않아 않아요Nunmuri meomchuji anha anhayoMy tears are not stopping
멀어지면 안돼 안돼 안돼요Meoreojimyeon andwae andwae andwaeyoYou can’t, can’t, can’t get farther away
도망치지 말아줘Domangchiji marajwoDon’t run away
돌아서지 말아줘 내게서 제발doraseoji marajwo naegeseo jebalDon’t turn away from me, please

서로 행복해떤  너무 좋았어떤Seoro haengbokhaetdeon neomu johasseotdeon Because our happy and good times keep passing me by,
시간이 스쳐서sigani seuchyeoseoBecause I feel like
죽도록 후회할 것만 같아서Jukdorok huhoehal geotman gataseoI will regret this till I die, 
지금 너에게 난 할말이 있어 ~ ohjigeum neoege nan halmari isseo ~ ohI have something to tell you right now

그래도 사랑해 너를 사랑해Geuraedo saranghae neoreul saranghaeI still love you, I love you
다른 건 몰라도 내가 널 원해Dareun geon mollado naega neol wonhaeThough I don’t know anything else, I know I want you
다가가려 할수록 가까워만 질수록Dagagaryeo halsurok gakkawoman jilsurok The more I try to approach you, the more I try to get close
도망치는 니가 날 외롭게 하는걸 ~ domangchineun niga nal oeropge haneungeol ~ ohYou try to run away and that makes me lonely

눈물이 멈추지 않아 않아요Nunmuri meomchuji anha anhayoMy tears are not stopping
멀어지면 안돼 안돼 안돼요Meoreojimyeon andwae andwae andwaeyoYou can’t, can’t, can’t get farther away
도망치지 말아줘Domangchiji marajwoDon’t run away
돌아서지 말아줘 내게서 제발doraseoji marajwo naegeseo jebalDon’t turn away from me, please

니가 돌아오고 싶을 때Niga doraogo sipeul ttae Whenever you want to come back, 
그때 내게 돌아와 도 돼geuttae naege dorawado dwaeyou can come back to me
널 사랑하니까 ~ Neol saranghanikkaBecause I love you

날 사랑 안해도 나는 괜찮아Nal sarang an haedo naneun gwaenchanhaI’m okay even if you don’t love me
널 볼수 있다면 뭐든 난 좋아Neol bol su itdamyeon mwodeun nan johaIf I can just see you, I’m fine with anything
사랑하면 할수록 깊어지면 질수록Saranghamyeon halsurok gipeojimyeon jilsurokThe more I love you, the deeper this gets,멀어지는 니가 나는 너무 두려워 ~ ohmeoreojineun niga naneun neomu duryeowo ~ ohYou get farther away and that scares me

눈물이 멈추지 않아 않아요Nunmuri meomchuji anha anhayoMy tears are not stopping
멀어지면 안돼 안돼 안돼요Meoreojimyeon andwae andwae andwaeyoYou can’t, can’t, can’t get farther away
도망치지 말아줘Domangchiji marajwoDon’t run away
돌아서지 말아줘 내게서 제발doraseoji marajwo naegeseo jebalDon’t turn away from me, please

Now Only I Know!

i saw this today! YOU MIGHT GET ATTRACTED TO ANOTHER PERSON BUT YOU WON'T SIMPLY FALL IN LOVE, IF SOMEONE ELSE IS STILL HOLDING A BIG PART OF YOUR LOVE. so yeah... what's my feeling to you. i can't sure yet! but i'm sure that! my ex- is already gone from my heart. i used 1 year time to delete our memories from my memory! so suffer! and you! i love? i like? i don't know... someone please help me to confirm this! nowadays my posts are almost all about you. i can feel that these few days you keep starring at me. and of course i look at you when other else doesn't know that! haha! i'm scared to face you! seriously, I DON'T EASILY TRUST PEOPLE WITH MY FEELINGS. SO WHEN I TRUST YOU WITH I HAVE GOT. PLEASE DON'T LET ME REGRET. please! i beg you! suddenly i think of 1 song of the lyrics can represent my feelings to you! it is Adele's Someone Like You. i really really really love this song! especially the chorus lyrics! NEVER MIND I'LL FIND, SOMEONE LIKE YOU. I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST, FOR YOU TOO. DON'T FORGET ME, I BEG! I'LL REMEMBER YOU SAY, SOMETIMES IT LAST IN LOVE, BUT SOMETIMES IT HURTS INSTEAD! so, if we're no longer of any possibility, i wish we don't say goodbye! i need you. i want you! before i found another person. and of course before you another one. we get back together okay?

I Heard!

i heard what you said. you told your friends that i'm beautiful! i heard that. actually i already want to give up. how i know. i heard what you said. and i was just like, why you treat me like that....? i thought you do not want to see me again. do not want to look at me again! how i know i heard you said 'beautiful right?' to your friend and pointing at me. i just act like i didn't heard that. this happened at yesterday. today, you keep pointing at me to your friends and your friends look at me. once again, i act like i didn't saw it. i thought you gave up on. that's why now i starting to give me on you. why you want to like that? i'm so confusing! sorry, i do not brave to tell you what's my feeling to you now. unless, you tell me! I DIDN'T CHOOSE YOU. MY HEART DID. you know what? i'm the one who always suffer! the ex- girl friend sitting beside me. and you're not beside me! ya! NEVER BE UPSET IF YOU SEE YOUR EX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU TO GIVE YOUR USED TOYS TO THE LESS FORTUNATE. i gave! although it talks like very easy. but when you do, it is another thing happen. i wish! i could forget everything! i wish i could delete this fucking things, fucking memories from my brain and put in many many many of knowledge inside! I NEED A HUG. when i'm not that strong anymore. when i'm sad. when i need someone around me. when the someone love me. when the someone needs me! nowadays, i less sing chinese song. i love korean song! i have more feeling with it. but, the question is, not very much of lyrics i can memorize! i'll try my best! i think i can do it successfully! 

Busy Life...

Chinese New Year is now left few days.... *sigh* time, why you pass so fast?? i'm busy because of my life! homework, school, tuition, and many more fucking busy things. only korean variety show. only k-pop. they can release my stress. i found happiness in there. i laughed like hell! like an idiot! i think that's real me. so when can i show my real one to others? i think it might be impossible. exam is now around the corner. i have no time to blogging. although i really want to! i want to share my everything in this blog! i really scared of my exam! but seriously, i have no motivation to study! to someone, fall in love with my and persuade me to study. let's study together! i'll fall asleep if i study myself! i need someone who really can accompany me to do my homework, do revision together, he can answer my question and we love each other! so difficult to find this type of guys right? never mind. i'll wait! wait for you! oh yeah! i sang at school yesterday. the whole gang of guys were waving their hands when i'm singing. scream when i'm singing. clapped their hands loudly after i sang finish. inside of the gang, someone can calculate as my crush! he smile! i saw him smiling. i less saw him smiling like yesterday. i just think of it, he smile because i'm singing, he felt happy! hahahahaha! he waves his hands also! i was really happy! that's why i sing better in the 2nd song. suddenly, i wish i could sing on the stage for him! for them also. i love to ear the claps hands sound! i enjoy it very very very much. but need to see the timing. maybe i have chance to sing on the stage in my all life! 

Forgot....

The one that made me regret had forgot about me...... he did not even look at me once! i was terrible fed up... seriously, i thought we would get into a relationship if he still love me, if he still remember me, if he still can't forget about me.... obviously, he was not that serious to me. someone said, IN EVERY GIRL'S LIFE, THERE IS A BOY SHE'LL NEVER FORGET. IN EVERY BOY'S LIFE, THERE IS A GIRL HE CAN NEVER GET. you know, if we can't get into a relationship. at least, at least i hope that i'm the girl in your life that you can never get.... i'm really an idiot. when i just want to start my relationship, when i think properly to have my sweet memories, he gone! this happened twice! why?!!!! when i just started to love you, and suddenly you disappear in my life. i feel so stupid! just because of this, i not dare to tell me friends. give me some times, let me to forget you. not that long actually! i just used 10 months to forget my ex-. actually not yet completely deleted from my memory. somebody said, DON'T EVER FORCE YOURSELF TO FORGET SOMEONE. YOU'LL JUST REMEMBER THE PEOPLE BUT NOT FORGETTING. FOR EXAMPLE, I TALK ABOUT A PINK TIGER. AND I ASK YOU TO FORGET, YOU'LL JUST FORCE YOURSELF TO IMAGINE THE TIGER IN PINK COLOR, ISN'T? SO, IF YOU WANT TO FORGET A PERSON, LET IT FORGET SLOWLY, SMOOTHLY. TIME WILL HELP YOU! and yeah, i pass this forgetting people to TIME. i wish that he could done this mission impossible successfully. whenever friends asked me whether it's okay or not, i answered them alright or nothing happened. but if you really knows me, my answer actually was I'M NOT FINE. I NEED A HUG. i really need a hug from the person i need! i'm stress because of homework, stress because of love! to someone i need, come to me, I NEED YOU BLOODY MUCH!

If one day...

If one day, i don't bother you anymore. If one day,  i have no more feelings to you. If one day, i'm in a relationship with others. If one day, we become strangers. will you regret? i wonder, will you? and of course, i know you won't. you have her. a lovely her who always accompany you, right? i'm the idiot always. if time reversed back, i think i'll choose not to meet you and know you. just because i can't face this problem. if i tell you i'm now available, will you take me back? can you take me back? i'm not in a relationship anymore. i'm not with him anymore. could you ask me the same question one more time? please. please. please ask me to accept you. why don't you choose a right time? i regret! if i say i hope that you always appear in my life. if i say i wish to see you everyday. but please be serious. i'm now is available status for 10 months already. just because someone make me do not believe in love. if you're serious, please be nice to me. not only buy things for me.... treat me with your true heart if you're willing to. but if you don't want, its okay..... seriously... i can be tough.... although i'm tired of being strong every moment......... oh yeah. do you still remember that, you said you made a song for me... now only i know that you're so perfect. just in wrong timing. you're my ideal type actually, although we're in different races. i know this is quite difficult. you have a pair of beautiful eyes, you nose's shape is beautiful, you are not that short, you have 6 packs, you're strong, you're good in sport, but not very good at academic, but it's okay. i'm not that good also..... you know how to sing, how to play instruments and lotssssssss. today, you didn't come to school, i was just like moody cause can't see you in the school. i went to ec mall yesterday because of public holiday. you know, i pray hard to GOD, wish we can meet. but, we didn't....... give me some time to forget you. maybe i need 10 months again. i used 10 months to forget my ex-....... but i'm still in awkward with him and also her and also her friends........ i wish i could meet 1 more guy that is suitable and the timing is correct. if not, i need to waste my 10 months to forget you............

Suffering...

you can't really be 'just friends' if you're badly in love with him. opps... sorry, we're not even friends. we are strangers.... that's why i hate, and now i lost 3 male friends. you know? sometimes i say i'm okay, i wish you could hug my tightly and say i know you're not. it will happen in my dream... i wish i could find a person who will change my life, not only my relationship status. i'm a girl with pretty face that seem to tell the saddest story. unfortunately, i have no one to tell my saddest story. how pity am i..... look at me please. i miss last year that you always look at me. i miss the eye contact between us. why can't it repeat again? these few days when you saw me, you don't stop at me for more than 2 seconds. i'm used to have your eye contact on me. why when i need it, you don't give me? i'm so suffer. you know? i'm sitting with my ex-'s girlfriend. when he stand outside and waves to her, i feel stupid. but, who can i tell this to? no one..... no one..... everyone thought that i forgot about him or never fall in love with him. NONSENSE! they don't know how suffer am i. always watch both of them posting photo on twitter, facebook. how's my feel? no one knows. if you know me, come for me. just to me. no one else please. i'm afraid of love. but i'm lack of love now.... to my ex-, you know? a girl is hurt when she starts to ignore you. as you can see, how i ignore you everytime you come nearby me. you know how hurt am i? i wish you could saw this. let you know, the one that hurts me, not others, and the person is you! to the one, look at me please. i feel so uncomfortable when you starts not to look at me. hate this feeling....... i know. i did wrong. i shouldn't reject you and let you wait for so long time. i'm really regret! seriously, so. come to me if you're willing..................................