The Birthday Party

my ex- birthday had just passed. i feel so guilty. cause when we're in a relationship, i never give him any surprise. i just gift him maybe couple necklace and maybe a birthday car. unlike his girlfriend now. she celebrates his birthday with all her gangs. she plan all the things that i look as useless thing. but maybe both of them love to celebrates in romantic way. i think she gave him a kiss maybe a hug. just thought about me, never kiss him before, never hug him before. and he just hold my hand in the cinema ONCE. just because both of us are cold. haha. so funny! but they had kiss the 2nd or 3rd month they had already together. so open-minded huh? i dislike. luckily i still have my first kiss, first hug, can i count first holding hand also? cause we didn't old hands in public. cause i dislike. all my first are still with me except y first love. but it's okay. i never regret to consider my first love is puppy love. rather than my 2nd boyfriend be the first. hmmmmm.... alright. oh yeah! my ex- show off about he and she had a French Kiss for maybe 10 minutes? dafuq? don't you feel tired? you're just a secondary student. both of you will regret for being such horny if you all broke up. but luckily i didn't choose him. phew! so, i'm waiting for my 3rd one. perhaps we can last longer? all my friend could wish us truly with their heart. 3 more weeks, the mid-year exam is coming. not yet study all he subjects. will be killed by all the long syllabus i had been long time didn't stay in classroom. so i'm not very clear about all the syllabus. but seriously hope that i won't get fail. SERIOUSLY. i wish i could pass all my subjects..... okay. next. the one that i love seems like love to flirt with his girl friends. i'm so sad. maybe i'm the only one who feel like this. but seriously, i'm hurt. he didn't come to school last week. so i thought i had forget about him. until this week, nothing changed! but i had a feel. that is i feel like he started to look at me again. am i just thought it wrongly.... or that's true?? seriously i don't know. i knew that we're IMPOSSIBLE. but please lend me some time. i had use 10 months to forget my ex-. almost half year i had starring at you. maybe i just need to use another 10 months or more than 10 months to forget him. pity myself. i knew. i shouldn't waste my time on the wrong person. but there should appear a right person to me so that i won't pay all my attention on the wrong person. so.... to my mr.right, are you ready to stand in front of me?