Hurt

when i was small, i thought that i was born in a very happy family. but when i grow bigger, i just realize that it's no at all. you know what? i have parents and 3 sisters. all doesn't like me. when i was small, i thought that my parents give me lots of love. but, it isn't like that when i was now in secondary school. my father can scold me without any reason or with some very ridiculous reasons. DAFUQ. i was scared when he suddenly shout at me. i'm sure that not evryone can affort his shout. luckily i'm a person who do not cry easily and shout in front of people. that's why i always hide in my bedroom and cry silently. EVERYTIME. i just feel that why he treat me like that? why he can treat my 3 elder sisters so nice? i'm hurt. i'm totally hurt. my mother always thought that i couldn't do this and do that. what the fuck? i'm her daughter. always blame me! i hate this type of mother. she give my sisters money whenever they need. sometimes, i just need rm30 to hang out with friends, and she always said that she has no money. i don't know why! why there is such a mother in this world? fine. i just heard an artist said, parents doesn't need anything from their children. my moter is different! TOTALLY DIFFERENT! she asks me to give her back money when i'm an adult. she asks me to give her lots of plane ticket so that she can go travel. lots of thing she wants me to return her. she always thought that she, that become a mother is such a tired character that always need to accompany to singing class, pay the fee and also the costume. doesn't she think about me. i'm the one who should stand on the stage and need to face to all the audiences and feel so stress.i'm the one who is most tiring. as you can see, she didn't think about this. my elder sister is a bit bitcy! she poured water on my head that she drank. fuck yeah! you know what i feel? i almost wanna hit her! i asked her to be careful! don't do such bitchy thing anymore. and, i always wanna have a distance from her. you know what. she always touch me! oh totally fuck! she touch my hands, legs, butts.using his finger with some 'vibrations'! what the fuck!!!!!! whenever she came near me, i always walk away from her! she is totally a BITCHY BITCH! and, no one ever can meet such bitchy sister! but unluckily, i'm the one who met it. i must did something bad last time! that's why i met her this time! my second sister always tease me. just like when i did not did something wrong, and she will say something really bad. i hate!  my third sister! she's so horrible. she act in front of other people. she just like tret me so good in front of others. but she's not like that! i don't know why all my family member will like her so much? i hate her! i'm taller than her so much and stronger than her so much! is that my fault? she is the one who's short. i think she is just 149 or 150cm. she is short. why everyone said i stole her food. can't a younger sister taller than her elder sister? FUCK! i must fuck all the people who said such a fucking word out! if a younger sister must weaker than her elder sister. then i must be 140cm now! that's impossible. i'm good at sport that's why i'm so strong and tall. i like badminton, swimming, basketball, jogging, gym and others! i like all sports! what about her? she have many scars on her legs. that's why she never wear short pants when she have theese scares. i saw her scars silently before. so scary! just like many small snaes on her legs! and ya! i hate my family! i think all of secondary students thougt this before! and i'm the one. i'm still a secondary school, so i can hate my family members so much! ya! i hurt, i sad, i angry, i hate in this family. but no where else can let me say out except this blog. thanks blog. but i'm still hurting. someone please help me! to: SOMEONE, i'm waiting you for so long time. please help me. i'm so tired! take me out please!

Just Came Back From Camp

i joined a 3 days 2 night camp. the camp is boring to me! but i just lie to my senior said that the camp was quite fun. DAFUQ. NO! not that fun actually! only have 1 outdoor activities, but just for 30 minutes! what the... i hate this type of camp! i was really regret because i joined this camp! first, no handsome guy for me, second, all food in vegetarian because it is a buddha camp, third, my backbone is pain AGAIN, fourth, always having many boring talks and games, last one, it is a really sucks camp for me. i just saw other people play it very fun. i don't know why and what makes them fun? and ya, i have no friend there! ARGH! anyway, 'tang yuan' is always the best! i still remember that i don't it eat when i was small. it was just taste like sweet and a bit 'spicy'? hmm, 'tang yuan' is best! 10 more days, and it is my school reopen day! i just get my PMR result! i was really shocked and really wanna fuck something up when i knew my result! DAMN! it is 7A1B. i was happy like hell! i never get more than 2A since i was form1. my history get B. but it's okay. cause i can't finish study my history. most of my friend that get such of result are usually their chinese get B. but i get A. the target of A is too high. i'm afraid of can't get such good result. although most of my friend get 8A's, but they're the one who should get such of result. i think i'm the proudest among my friend. you know what? i was really that proud. i get 7A's. my trial result is sucks like hell! 1 or 2 A only. but i get 7A in PMR. woohoooo!!!!!!!!!!!! shame on them who get 8As. they should not be happy, cause they took such of result more than thrice. no more feeling. but i'm different! from 2A to 7A. not many people can do like this. one more, i was sick when i was taking my chinese paper. phew~ i get A. i can't blame at others of my history. i'm the one who is lazy to study, that's why i get B. finally, i get flying colours in my result! thank god! 

A New One???

and yea... haha. my friend's boyfriend just came back from Australia. she looks so happy and he too. her boyfriend always scared that i'm too lonely when i was with them. you know, no one kiss you, no one hug you and no one talk to you so closely. but when you saw a couple that always kissing, hugging, talking, what do you feel? he ask her to ask me to find someone so that i won't always be alone when hang out with them. but seriously, i'm quite that lonely, because you know, i never did those stuffs with my one i don't kiss, i don't hug, but if i did, i really love them, i think. if the one is just like one of my ideal type, oh damn god! i must thank god! i must love god! haha. but now, i still don't need a boyfriend. i always can't sure that those boys that admiring me is through their heart or just wanna have some fun. you know, i being hurt by someone. so most of them can't know how i feel. i also don't need them to understand my feeling. i need a man, a true man that really can see through me. no one else did that until now, including my best buddies. but, maybe they don't have the responsibility to that on me. anyway, if i have a boyfriend, haha! that is the time my friend being suffer. her boyfriend at australia so cannot always meet except for holidays. maybe she will see my boyfriend and i. but, i SWEAR, if there is someone that really can see through me, that can know me very well without asking, that will love me, that will treat me with his true heart, finding me like hell when e can't contact me, scold me right after i contact him, hug me when we meet each other, can accepted by my siblings and friends. parents are not that fast! haha! and i'm waiting you. seems like i always waiting for someone. and yea, i'll wait for you! 

Infinite

(Sungyeol, Sungjong, Sunggyu, L, Woohyun, Dongwoo, Hoya)

(Hoya, Dongwoo, Sungjong, L, Sungyeol,, Woohyun, Sunggyu)

(Sungjong, Dongwoo, Sunggyu, L, Hoya, Woohyun, Sungyeol)

Infinite (인피니트) is a boy band that made up of 7 members. The members are Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Woohyun, Hoya, Sungyeol, L and Sungjong.

김성규
Stage name: Sunggyu
Birth name: Kim Sung Gyu
Birthday: 28 April 1989
Position: Leader, Main Vocal
Nickname: Leader Gyu, Grandpa Gyu, Hamster

장동우
Stage name: Dongwoo
Birth name: Jang Dong Woo
Birthday: 22 November 1990
Position: Main Rapper, Lead Dancer
Nickname: Dinowoo, Kenya

남우현
Stage name: Woohyun
Birth name: Nam Woo Hyun
Birthday: 8 February 1991
Position: Main Vocal
Nickname: Namstar, Namgrease, Namu

이호원
Stage name: Hoya
Birth name: Lee Ho Wan
Birthday: 28 March 1991
Position: Main Dancer, Lead Rapper, Vocalist
Nickname: Hogod

이성열
Stage name: Sungyeol
Birth name: Lee Sung Yeol
Birthday: 27 August 1991
Position: Vocalist
Nickname: Choding

김명수
Stage name: L
Birth name: Kim Myung Soo
Birthday: 13 March 1992
Position: Visual, Lead Vocalist
Nickname: Jiu

이성종
Stage name: Sungjong
Birth name: Lee Sung Jong
Birthday: 3 September 1993
Position: Vocalist, Maknae
Nickname: Baby Sung, Jonggie, Diva

I Really Want To

damn! how many month already? why i can't remember other things so clearly? but why not this relationship? i really hope that i could be a goldfish. you know? someone said goldfish only have 7 seconds of memory. that means after 7 seconds, it have a new memory again. but i just hope for this relationship. i'm not that hope that i can forget about everything after 7 seconds. it's quite horrible. no one have a way to let me choose to forget those sad scenes in my memory. 9 months. not too long and not too short. and everyday i hope that i can forget about this relationship. but why cannot? i hate! i hate myself why i can't do such of easy thing? i saw my friends. they can have a new boyfriend after breaking up with his ex for 1-3 months! damn it. i couldn't do that. maybe until i meet someone. the one who is very special. yea. special. he's active in twitter and facebook these few days. i was so hard to control myself. not to click his profile to view. oh damn. i was genius! i think the first thing to forget a person is to not to care about the person anymore. such as not viewing his facebook profile, not stalking his tweets in his twitter, not reading his posts on his blog and more and more and more. and i just start to do the first thing after 9 months! damn it! how stupid am i. i wanna know! why i'm so ridiculous! the 2nd thing, don't meet with him. yea! i'm not going to have an eye contact with him anymore in school. although sometimes i can't control myself to take a look at him. but i'll try! try my best! yea! forget the JERK.

No More.

as always. i thought i had forgot. but actually no. i really hate myself why can he just like pretend nothing happened before between us? i really don't like when he can still waving his hands with his smile and saying hi to me? what's wrong going on? am i the problem? maybe people will said i'm the one who reject him once. hey! i'm the victim kay?! you know what? you guys went to the beach. that time is his birthday. he still waiting for my 3rd answer. fuck yeah. why you want to upload both of your picture before i let you know the answer. i was really sad. serious. VERY, DAMN sad. fine. he used that picture as his twitter background picture! damn you, jerk! i was not only sad that time, i was hurt. i thought that he's serious at the third time. no! i was wrong! wrong like hell! if i didn't saw that picture. maybe i'll accept you the third time! but why? why you want to do like that? twitter background picture? fine. i saw the necklace you wore! damn it! please don't wear it anymore! and please be more smart. don't you know that i'll saw that picture also? wearing my necklace and then take picture with her! only you 2! i was mad! that day morning, school having activities. and we're the partner. that day is his birthday. and, she and her friends took a cake and celebrate with him. fuck yeah. please don't play with that cake until i need to clean it up as my job. damn, i never touch even the flour or cream of that cake. i saw! i saw everything! you guys played happily! i was just like an idiot, keep smiling, and pretending nothing happen. oh damn! i can't stand wit this situation anymore, until i sweep the floor half, i went away. i don't want to see your shitty face! i saw his blog. saying that how she loves him, how she make him happy! yeah i know! i don't know how to comfort people. but please, i'm your girl that time. why can you treat me like that? you said she's good to you. hah. i laughed. people with me will laughed.  she's good? no. if she is, she will not use some tricks to make you see her like so pity. she said right, go back to me! fuck, i do not need the guy who can't make this such of easy decision. i rather him don't ask me the 3rd time. but why he asked? he's jerk. he's totally a jerk. i really can't imagine what you all did at the beach that night. he just left me. and i was so confused with what i want, but both of them are happy like hell. maybe they know they will be each other from that night. i wonder if i accept him the 3rd time, what will that bitch do? kill me? hah. anyway, i hate you guys. not only both of you. her friends too. if they are really true friends, they'll never support her to make such a decision. after we broke the 2nd time, what did she did??? until he can be her boyfriend as fast as lightning?! or i'm that idiot? i really don't know how to forget a people who hurt me SO DAMN MUCH. sorry, i can't. i can't forgive such of person. i can't trust any guys in my life anymore. yeah, there is a guy appear. he's good. but i can't trust that he can treat me good. just like the jerk! 

B1A4

(CNU, Baro, Sandeul, Gongchan, Jinyoung)

(Gongchan, Sandeul, Baro, Jinyoung, CNU)

(Baro, Sandeul, Jinyoung, Gongchan, CNU)

B1A4 (비원에이포) is a boy band that made up of 5 member. They are CNU, Jinyoung, Sandeul,  Baro and Gongchan.

 신동우
Stage name: CNU
Birth name: Shin Dong Woo
Birthday: 16 June 1991
Position: Vocalist, Rapper
Nickname: Chickenu, Pooh Bear

정진영
Stage name: Jinyoung
Birth name: Jung Jin Young
Birthday 18 November 1991
Posiiton: Leader, Lead Vocal
Nickname: Flower Boy

이정환
Stage name: Sandeul
Birth name: Lee Jung Hwan
Birthday: 20 March 1992
Position: Main Vocal
Nickname: Bunnydeul, Psyduck, Eggdeul

차선우
Stage name: Baro
Birth name: Cha Sun Woo
Birthday: 5 September 1992
Position: Main rapper
Nickname: Hambaro, Squirrel, Baramji

공찬식
Stage name: Gongchan
Birth name: Gong Chan Shik
Birthday: 14 August 1993
Position: Vocalist, Visual, Maknae
Nickname: Channie, Turchan

My Ideal Type (Picture)

here are they! my ideal type: 

(Chansung)

(Chansung)

(Seungho)

(Seungho)

(Kangin)

(Kangin)

(Yoseob)

(Yoseob)

(Ricky)

(Ricky) 

(Onew)

(Onew)

My Ideal Type

haha... suddenly want to share about my ideal type. i'm different from most of the girls! haha. i'm not that much of admiring those rich guys. i feel like there is a invisible wall between us. that's why i don't like. maybe i'm not the same level as those rich guys. next, i don't like those thin guys! i don't have any sense of security! erm, i don't like those guys that got lots of things to talk and was just like aunties. NO! never ever! hahahaha... i like those who's a little fat. maybe chubby? haha. muscular body also can!! i love this 2 type of body the most! not only body, the face must be normal or above. not weird. hehe. everyone hope that too. next, their eyes! woohoo... their expression of eyes must be strong! extremely strong. can give me a feeling like, they are real man! height must be not too short and too high! eyebrow also! please do have eyebrow. cause i like eyebrow! lips must be very sexy. it's better if one of the lips is thicker than the other one! haha. face must be a little chubby. just a little! he know how to sing well, how to dance well, how to cook well and more! he can be cute, sexy, strong and more.... haha. he must not have 6 packs, 8 packs even 12 packs. just a small spare tire or 4 packs is already enough. my limit is 6 packs. arms must have muscles! the only part that i wish is the arms must be enough strong! lots of k-pop stars are my ideal type! i really wish that i could meet the one who is exactly looks like one of them! for example, 2PM's Chansung! i really like him. he's the first k-pop star that i know and like. he's also the one who make me join to k-pop world. he is strong. he is high. his eyes are beautiful. he's a little bit chubby. he's cute! next, MBLAQ's Seungho. i never thought that there's the another my ideal type appear too! his lips is soooo sexy! and i like his chubby face. high also. a little fat with some muscles! omg! awesome! some more is, Super Junior's Kangin! oh damn! although he is the one who is fattest in my ideal type list, he's still attracting me everytime! he's funny! he's handsome! i like all about him. his stomach, his arms, his eyebrow, his eyes, his lips, his face, his height and more! the most important thing is, he is 100% natural! never have any plastic surgery! oh yeah! Beast's Yoseob. don't look at him like so small. maybe he's the shortest in my list, he have muscles too! his voice is good enough! really awesome! i really like. he dance well too! his chubby face, damn! i like it very much! Teentop's Ricky! one word! CUTE! he's just like the second Yoseob. that's why i like. one more onew! he have no muscles. but he have a small spare tire! i like his voice! he's good at cooking too! that's why i wish i could go Korea! my ideal type are in there, right? haha! hey guys, you all are the man that i'm looking for long time! :DDDD

2NE1 - I'm The Best

Lyrics (Hangul + Romanization + English Translate):

내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
제제 제일 잘 나가je je jeil jal nagath-th-the best

Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Oh my god

누가 봐도 내가 좀 죽여주잖아nuga bwado naega jom jug-yeojujanh-aWhoever looks at me can see i’m kind of a killer
alright
둘째가라면 이 몸이 서럽잖아duljjaegalamyeon i mom-i seoleobjanh-aThis body is second to no one
alright

넌 뒤를 따라오지만neon dwileul ttalaojimanYou’re following behind me but
난 앞만 보고 질주해nan apman bogo jiljuhaeI’m only running forward
네가 앉은 테이블 위를 뛰어다녀nega anj-eun teibeul wileul ttwieodanyeoi jump on top of the table you’re sitting at
I don’t care

건드리면 감당 못해geondeulimyeon gamdang mothaeIf you touch me you won’t be able to handle it
I’m hot hot hot hot fire
뒤집어지기 전에dwijib-eojigi jeon-eBefore i flip something over
제발 누가 날 좀 말려jebal nuga nal jom mallyeoPlease can someone stop me

옷장을 열어 가장otjang-eul yeol-eo gajangI open my closet and
상큼한 옷을 걸치고sangkeumhan os-eul geolchigoPut on the freshest outfit
거울에 비친 내 얼굴을geoul-e bichin nae eolgul-eulThe reflection of my face in the mirror
꼼꼼히 살피고kkomkkomhi salpigoI carefully check it over
지금은 여덟 시jigeum-eun yeodeolb siRight now it’s 8
약속시간은 여덟 시 반yagsogsigan-eun yeodeolb si banI’m supposed to meet up at 8:30
도도한 걸음으로 나선 이 밤dodohan geol-eum-eulo naseon i bamTonight i set out with bold steps

내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
제제 제일 잘 나가je je jeil jal nagath-th-the best

내가 봐도 내가 좀 끝내주잖아naega bwado naega jom kkeutnaejujanh-aWhoever looks at me can see i’m kind of fabulous
alright
네가 나라도 이 몸이 부럽잖아nega nalado i mom-i buleobjanh-aEven if you were me, you’d be envious of this body
alright

남자들은 날 돌아보고namjadeul-eun nal dol-abogoGuys are turning around to look at me
여자들은 따라해yeojadeul-eun ttalahaeGirls are following me
내가 앉은 이 자리를 매일 넘봐 피곤해naega anj-eun i jalileul maeil neombwa pigonhaeBeing looked down on in the spot, I’m sitting at, every day is tiring

선수인척 폼만 잡는seonsu-incheog pomman jabneunPretending to be an athlete, this snobby
어리버리한 Playaeolibeolihan PlayaClumsy Playa

넌 바람 빠진 타이어처럼 보기 좋게 차여neon balam ppajin taieocheoleom bogi johge chayeoLike you’re a flat tire, I’ll dump you good for people to see
어떤 비교도 난 거부해eotteon bigyodo nan geobuhaeI refuse to be compared
이건 겸손한 얘기igeon gyeomsonhan yaegiI’m telling you the truth
가치를 논하자면 나는gachileul nonhajamyeon nanIf we’re talking about my value, I’m a
Billion dollar baby
뭘 쫌 아는 사람들은mwol jjom aneun salamdeul-eunPeople who know a thing or two
다 알아서 알아봐da al-aseo al-abwaThey all know it so ask them
아무나 잡고 물어봐amuna jabgo mul-eobwaGrab anyone and ask them
누가 제일 잘 나가?nuga jeil jal naga?Who is the best?

내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
내가 제일 잘 나가naega jeil jal nagai am the best
제제 제일 잘 나가je je jeil jal nagath-th-the best

누가? 네가 나보다 더 잘 나가?nuga? nega naboda deo jal naga?Who? you are better than me?
No no no no Na na na na
누가? 네가 나보다 더 잘 나가?nuga? nega naboda deo jal naga?Who? you are better than me?
No no no no Na na na na
누가? 네가 나보다 더 잘 나가?nuga? nega naboda deo jal naga?Who? you are better than me?
No no no no Na na na na
누가? 네가 나보다 더 잘 나가?nuga? nega naboda deo jal naga?Who? you are better than me?
No no no no Na na na na

Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Bam Ratatata Tatatatata
Oh my god

The Special Feeling

There is a Professor said, no matter the person that hurt you so much, you will forget the person after 7 years! after 7 years, you'll totally forget the person! i was so shocked. why i should take a long time on that jerk? haha. long time did not hear any news about him, and i'm not curious on him. no more stalking him on twitter. i scared i'll faint. haha. no more add him in my close friend in facebook. no more is phone number in my contact list. everything was just like: phew~ but, when my friend said about his or her news, i was just pretend like nothing at all. but they really don't know what i'm really feel. i wish i could find a friend that really can become my buddy, even boys also can. yea. i have a friend is like that. but, i think he have to focus on his uni life. i do not wish to disturb him. that's why i want a buddy is same age with me. hehe. i can talk to the buddy about all my secret! serious! ALL. the buddy can tell me his too! *sigh* i'm really good at acting. everyone was just thought that i'm always that happy. no. i'm not! i'm always suffer! i can't say these all to my friends, cause i think that they no need to share about my sufferness, they no need to help me! until one day, i wish i can find the buddy that i wish i could talk everything to him. waiting...... 

2AM - 好痛 (I Wonder If You Hurt Like Me) Chinese Version

歌词（中文）：

想你就像永不停歇的雨季
泪滴有意无意
淋湿了我沉重的呼吸

一步一步走不出你的足迹
假装毫不在意
闭上眼才发现全是你

Oh oh oh oh oh
我装作不难过
Oh oh oh oh oh
我往人群里多
Oh oh oh oh oh
你在心里每个角落

好痛
你是否和我一样哭泣
好痛
你想着我我喘不过气
好痛
你是不是也像我
冰冻所有回忆
无法忘记

一次一次勉强微笑着演戏
可笑的是自己
就像失去灵魂的机器

Oh oh oh oh oh
我找了事情做
Oh oh oh oh oh
我填满了生活
Oh oh oh oh oh
你在心里每个角落

好痛
你是否和我一样哭泣
好痛
你想着我喘不过气
好痛
你是不是也像我
冰冻所有回忆
无法忘记

就算想尽了办法
对你的爱依然不能自拔
笑吧
我拼命掩饰着挣扎

该怎么承受
现在我一个人走
孤寂地等候
失去了你以后
痛已没有尽头

好痛
你是否和我一样哭泣
好痛
你想着我喘不过气
好痛
你是不是也想我
冰冻所有回忆
无法忘记

B2ST (Beast)

(Junhyung, Dongwoon, Gikwang, Doojoon, Hyunseung)

(Doojoon, Dongwoon, Yoseob, Gikwang, Hyunseung, Junhyung )

(Junhyung, Dongwoon, Gikwang, Yoseob, Hyunseung, Doojoon)

B2ST (Beast) (비스트) is a boy band that made up of 6 members. They are Doojoon, Hyunseung, Junhyung, Yeoseob, Gikwang and Dongwoon. 

윤두준
Stage name: Doojoon
Birth name: Yoon Doo Joon
Birthday: 4 July 1989
Position: Leader, Lead Rapper, Vocalist
Nickname: 3 Second Sharing

장현승
Stage name: Hyunseung
Birth name: Jang Hyun Seung
Birthday  3 September 1989
Position: Lead Vocalist, Lead Dancer
Nickname: Rancho

용준형
Stage name: Junhyung
Birth name: Yong Jun Hyung
Birthday: 19 December 1989
Position: Main Rapper
Nickname: Yonggun

양요섭
Stage name: Yoseob
Birth name: Yang Yo Seob
Birthday: 5 January 1990
Position: Main Vocalist
Nickname: Endorphins, Siksin 

이기광
Stage name: Gikwang
Birth name: Lee Gi Kwang
Birthday: 30 March 1990
Position: Lead Vocalist, Main Dancer, Face of the Group
Nickname: Ace JR, Holly 2

손동운
Stage name: Dongwoon
Birth name: Son Dong Woon
Birthday: 6 June 1991
Position: Vocalist, Maknae
Nickname: Sonseuko, 16 D