I Really Want To

damn! how many month already? why i can't remember other things so clearly? but why not this relationship? i really hope that i could be a goldfish. you know? someone said goldfish only have 7 seconds of memory. that means after 7 seconds, it have a new memory again. but i just hope for this relationship. i'm not that hope that i can forget about everything after 7 seconds. it's quite horrible. no one have a way to let me choose to forget those sad scenes in my memory. 9 months. not too long and not too short. and everyday i hope that i can forget about this relationship. but why cannot? i hate! i hate myself why i can't do such of easy thing? i saw my friends. they can have a new boyfriend after breaking up with his ex for 1-3 months! damn it. i couldn't do that. maybe until i meet someone. the one who is very special. yea. special. he's active in twitter and facebook these few days. i was so hard to control myself. not to click his profile to view. oh damn. i was genius! i think the first thing to forget a person is to not to care about the person anymore. such as not viewing his facebook profile, not stalking his tweets in his twitter, not reading his posts on his blog and more and more and more. and i just start to do the first thing after 9 months! damn it! how stupid am i. i wanna know! why i'm so ridiculous! the 2nd thing, don't meet with him. yea! i'm not going to have an eye contact with him anymore in school. although sometimes i can't control myself to take a look at him. but i'll try! try my best! yea! forget the JERK.